At some point, we will become our own domesticated. We don`t even need an authority to threaten or punish us. Our belief system – the book of the law – governs our minds. The book of the law is composed of all the agreements that we have accepted as truth. You don`t need to condemn yourself, feel guilty, or punish yourself if you`re not able to live up to these agreements. If you do your best, you will feel good, even if you still make assumptions, that you always take things in person, and that you are still not blameless with your word. The way you live now is the result of many years of domestication. You can`t expect to break domestication in a day. Breaking agreements is very difficult because we put the power of speech (which is the fact of our will) in every agreement we have made. Despite its limitations, the book of the law makes us feel safe. It is our understanding of how the world works, and it represents order in a world of chaos. We may not have chosen these agreements, but we have approved them.
And they don`t change easily — challenging our own beliefs takes courage. In part 2 of this two-part video, we learn more about the book of the Law that governs our minds and the inner judge who makes us suffer because we never live up to our “image of perfection.” All our normal tendencies are lost in the process of domestication, and we begin to look for what we have lost. We seek freedom because we are no longer free; We seek happiness because we are no longer happy; We seek beauty because we no longer believe that we are beautiful. What we are looking for is our self. With exercise, the Four Accords help us restore our “authentic self,” and this is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. If we can see that it is our agreements that govern our own lives and that we do not like the dream of our life, we must change the agreements. If you want to live a life of joy and fulfillment, you must find the courage to break agreements based on fear and that claim your personal power. Agreements that come out of fear require us to spend a lot of energy, but agreements that come from love help us save energy and even produce extra energy. As children, we are trained by this process of domestication, just like dogs. We are rewarded for doing what mom and dad expect of us.
We will be punished if we break the rules. We fear punishment, but even more so, we fear being rejected and not being good enough. In this process, we become someone who is different from our natural self. We lose our normal, innate tendencies in this process of domestication. That`s why adults behave differently from children – adults may be more efficient and productive, but also less cheerful, curious and free.